3 little words

Hey there, blog-land!  Sorry for the long delay, but I’ve been battling with when and how to write this post for a while now, and I think it’s time to put it out there.

As many of you know, Flyboy and I lost a very important person to us just hours after the New Year.  Although celebrating his life with his family has been a true and unmistakable blessing, it has been a very gut-wrenching, inexplicably painful time for us.  We are still very much working through the grieving process, so bear with us.  I must sincerely thank those of you who have reached out to us during this time.  Without our traditional support system around us in Hawaii, the phone calls, emails, and Facebook messages have meant far more than you could ever know. 

LTJG David Reis

Flyboy will tell you that David was the best friend you could ever ask for.  They met and became fast friends on the first day of flight school, and David had gone on to become a F-18 pilot.  I think that was the only future David had ever considered for himself, and he went right out and did it.  He was like an adventure in a bottle.  I don’t think David had “average” or “boring” days – he made the most of every single minute he was given.  He was a selfless friend, and I mean that in a way that I will never be able to describe to you.  You would have to know him to understand.  David loved his friends in a way that made you feel like you were the most important person in his life, the top of his list.

That’s been a bit of a stumbling block for us in our grieving – did David know how much WE loved HIM?  I hope so, but did we actually tell him that?  Did our actions show it enough?  Thankfully, we were able to spend 2 days with David in San Diego as we travelled across the country.  We hadn’t seen him in over six months, so it was a wonderful reunion.  During that time, David was happier and more huggable than ever, and so as we said goodbye (for the 4^th time, because I SUCK at goodbyes) it just seemed obvious that I remind him that I loved him.  And that I really meant it.  And that I couldn’t WAIT to see him in Hawaii.

David and Karen Reis

David and his beautiful sister, Karen lived lives that deeply touched literally hundreds of people.  Not just the “nice girl in my English group” kind of touched – the “best friend that never forgets my birthday” kind of touched.  Their funeral was unlike anything I’ve ever seen.  There were well over a thousand people there.  That church was beyond standing room only – there were over a hundred people OUTSIDE on the steps, just hoping to be there to honor their lives and say goodbye.

Having seen the impact David and Karen had made in their short lives, their (amazing) younger brother and sister challenged us to strive for that sort of impact through our lives.  They’ve dubbed it the “Reis Ripple.”  It can’t be explained any better than through their own words, so I’ll share with you the last bit of their eulogy for David and Karen:

“The challenge is this. To have the same ripple effect on the lives around you. Let the ripples of your life be ripples of love, laughter, adventure, selflessness, and smiles. 



The most important of these ripples are the ripples of love. We dare you to never hang up, to never leave without saying I love you. We dare you to mean it. We dare you to spread it. Let your ripples be ripples of love in memory of David and Karen.”

In thinking back on my last hug and my last moments with David, there in San Diego – I am so thankful that I actually TOLD David that I loved him.  It’s not my usual style, just going around dropping the “L-bomb” on people, but I am so glad that I did.  I know I didn’t say it enough, and can only hope that he knew it without being told.  I know that there are a number of you to whom I’ve never actually said, “I LOVE YOU,” but I do.  I’m sure that in thinking about your own lives, you can think of someone you might want to remind.

"LOVE" by the Reis siblings at Christmas

So please, for me, and for David and Karen – go out and tell your loved ones, your friends, and the special people in your lives that you love them.  Go ahead, say it in so many words.  Tell them through your actions and show them how much they mean to you.  Treat them like they’re the most important person in your life – even if they’re not.  Make sure that they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, just exactly how much they are appreciated.  And maybe there’s someone that you love or have loved, who you don’t even really like right now – go ahead and tell them too, just in case you don’t get the chance later.

A hui hou hoaloha,

- Kristin

If you’re at all interested – you can catch the Reis Ripple page on Facebook.  If you want to know more about David and Karen, this story will tell you a bit about them and this story will introduce you to their incredible family.

A photo from the Ballon Celebration to honor David and Karen's lives.

First lesson as a newbie blogger...

DON’T START A BLOG THE WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS!!  

(or moving into a new place, or New Year’s Day, or any other big events in your life)

DUH.

Sorry for anybody who felt left hanging.  Totally a bad call on my part, but I’m so happy to have something to come back to now that Flyboy and I are finally getting settled and figuring out what “normal” is going to be like here in Hawaii.

What have we been up to, you ask?  Hmm…well, let’s backtrack to December.  We were living in a hotel in downtown Waikiki while we looked for the perfect place.  Real estate in Hawaii is pretty crazy – the good rentals evaporate faster than you would believe, and pricing is ridiculous, even for the really icky ones.  Basically, take whatever you think you’d pay on the mainland, strip off about a third of the square footage and then double your monthly payment.  Talk about a rude awakening.  Whoa.

BUT…we found a pretty awesome place in a little town not far from the base we’re stationed at, with some sweet views of the mountains AND the bay.  Flyboy was sold as soon as he walked out onto the lanai, it took me a few minutes, but the sheer size of the place and the grounds of the complex helped me get on board.

We couldn’t move in until December 30, so Christmas was a little different in the hotel, but we made it work.  We spent Christmas Eve with friends (dinner, candlelight service, and karaoke) and then got up at the crack of dawn middle of the night to catch our East Coast family at the typical wake-up time.  Made my day, I tell ya.  If I can’t be there to jump on their beds, you better believe I’m gonna ring the phone off the hook!

borrowed photo, check out more from here

So what is Hawaii like at Christmas time?  You would think with the warm weather and the massive melting pot of cultures over here that it wouldn’t be a big deal.  It is.  These people know how to decorate.  Downtown Honolulu spends thousands of dollars on a display at their city center with letters the size of people, and a Mr. and Mrs. Claus the size of our first house in Texas (barefoot with feet in the sand, of course).  There’s not the big fuss over the religious syntax here – rather, everything is “Mele Kalikimaka!”  You may remember the phrase from a song made famous by Bing Crosby many, many years ago.  The words have no literal translation, but are a phonetic rendering of the English greeting first brought to the islands in the early 1800’s.

Yep, there's goldfish under there...

There’s no chimney for Santa to get stuck in, nobody hoping and praying to wake up to snow, but there’s plenty of Christmas cheer all around the island.  December is the peak season for tourism around here (both American, Asian, as well as other international visitors) so they make sure the spirit is alive!  A few things we got a kick out of were the numerous snowflakes hanging from the ceiling in City Hall (seems a little out of place here) and the giant goldfish bowl they created at the bottom of the hotel’s Christmas tree.

All in all, it was a good holiday weekend for us.  Not the big, family-filled celebration I'm used to (thankfully, my wonderful grandmother got them all together before we left for our big move).  But thanks to the USPS, I think they all knew I was thinking about them.  And thanks to Apple and their amazing FaceTime technology, I even got to see a few of the most important people in my life.  A holiday season like this one really puts things in perspective.  I am so thankful that we've got such wonderful people in our lives.  I'm thankful for the friends we got to share dinner with here in Hawaii, and I'm  thankful for the family we have back home willing to answer the phone any hour of the day.  But most importantly, I'm thankful for my husband and that he didn't let this Christmas go by unnoticed like he could have done.  So many girls I know are spending their first Christmas away from their husbands, and it made me realize just how lucky I have been to spend it with Flyboy.  Our time for separation will come, but until then I'm gonna make the most of each and every day and celebrate  all of them with him just like it was Christmas.

- Kristin